There's a point towards the end of the drama, where Sam-Soon is in a bus shelter, and she sees a poem/proverb/fact of life written down. It's as follows:
"love like you've never been hurt...
by Alfred D'Souza
dance like no one's watching
love like you've never been hurt
sing like no one's listening
work like you don't need the money
live like today is your last"
I took it down, because I love it. I feel moved towards it, by it, but regardless of how much I thought I knew what it meant, I thought I followed it... I didn't come to the realisation of this until later on in the drama.
The part where I found myself saying "wow, that's so like me" is in the last scene with her dad. Where he's tells her "you barely have enough time to be happy in this life don't look back, and don't worry ahead of time just live each day to the fullest". That spoke to me.. this whole scene.
Dad - "i thought you said you were happy"
SS - "because i'm so happy...so happy, but...I'm afraid this happiness will vanish. I'm so afraid...that this happiness will vanish, Dad."
Dad - "you foolish girl, why worry about something that might never happen?"
SS - "that's true"
Dad - "of course. You barely have enough time to be happy in this life"
SS - "you're right"
Dad - "don't look back, and don't worry ahead of time just live each day to the fullest"
SS - "you're right"
Dad - "my precious pumpkin, live your life to the fullest, OK?"
"fighting!" aka "I can do it!"
Where she starts off being so happy, and then all of a sudden she starts getting sad, crying even. It's so like me. I've been hurt so many times in the past, that even when I'm in a relationship where I'm happy, I doubt that happiness. Like in the same sense as Sam-Soon.. because I always get so scared that things will take a turn for the worse. Something's going to go wrong. Something's gonna turn sour. There's always fear hovering in the background. The thing is, it's that fear that keeps me from being able to live freely. To love freely. It's weird how it takes me so long to come to certain conclusions, or even realisations of myself.
So that Alfred D'Souza (I'm not sure if it was written properly.. it could be "Alfred De Sousa" or "Alfred D. Souza" also not sure if it's a "z" or an "s" but no matter... anyways), that thing he wrote. It's clearer to me now.
Love like you've never been hurt, doesn't just mean to love as though it's your first time loving. It means to not let fear get the better of you. Don't let the fear of what may come, take over the love that you have. I'm guilty of letting that happen all too often. I can't keep blaming my past on my future. Not sure that makes sense.. I mean, I can't keep letting what's happened in my past affect my life. My now, my future. Those fears of things that have past. I need to not let them take over my happiness. Not let them rule my life.
Everyone will go through some form of fear, but don't let it overpower you. Chase it away! Like those thoughts of not being able to draw. What happened when I chased them away? I was able to draw, I was able to be proud of myself and of the creations I made. Because I didn't give up, I didn't lose hope, I pressed on. I drew with my all, pushing away all fears.
Don't let yourself be intimidated by what and who is around you. Live life freely. Free of all fear. Don't let it get you down. Grasp it. Take chances. Be happy.
That's what I aspire. For me.
A.
