I'm scared. I'm scared to trust, to open up but most of all, I'm scared of myself. 

I was told the last relationship I was in, I was probably in it because of my need for someone. It didn't have to be the person it was, as long as somebody was there. It was a bad relationship, for all the wrong reasons and in the worst possible ways, but I tried so hard to keep it together, even at the cost of my happiness. I wasn't happy at all, I was miserable and hurt and somehow, I felt the need to cling on. I do that.. cling to people. Suck the life right out of them. Trying desperately to fill whatever void it is I have deep within me. 
How can I not be scared of me? What I was told, about just me needing someone, that makes me all the more scared. Because when I searched deep down within me, when I looked into what relationship we actually had, I couldn't negate it. 

What has become of me? I used to be capable of loving, I mean, yes, that clinging has always been there, but not to the extent where I couldn't at least love the person I was with. 
The only time I've ever had the same sort of relationship as my last...was with my first. The type of relationship I swore I'd never allow myself to be in again. But there I was, reliving it 10 yrs later. 

What did I do in my past life that I'm plagued in this one? When will I get my break?